Tost in Lranslation and Other Novelties, Part Three

This Galah or Rose-Breasted Cockatoo was outside one of the local stores.  I had never seen one before this one.  It was quite lovely and friendly! They are only found in Australia.  This bird is genius, only living in Australia.  If I was a bird, that would be the place I would want to live, too.

You know you want a pair....This type of pant (?? half legging/half saggy diaper??), with its many various styles, colors, details, and degrees of  "sagginess", is very popular in Israel.  But in all seriousness, I will bring you a pair.  I have three pair and love them.  Just let me know (then I don't have to wear them alone back in the states).

Your answer is probably different than mine

This milk was on a regular shelf in a Jordan grocery store. I'm not sure how it's even possible, but it's just wrong, so wrong.

Various styles of hijab's you can copy if you want to start wearing them. Fashionable and warm. So, so warm.

So, after much deliberation, the shop owner finally decided on this catchy and oh-so easily remembered name: pepsi Sailor: The Smallest Shop in the City Everything is Here Except You.

You work it!, man with goat! Hold that pose with your pink bag of (what I'm assuming is) goat poo. Lookin' good! This man with goat was just meandering through the city of Aqaba, in all its normality.

It looks like beer, but it's not.  It's called beer, but (again) it's not. It is made from root.  Logically, any American might think, Ah-ha! it's Root Beer, but it's not. It is beer, from a root and it's not tasty, American Root Beer nor is it beer.  It tastes like how fall leaves smell, with a little, zesty aftertaste of Pine-Sol. Very refreshing.

(Sorry, Vegetarian friends! Quickly, avert your eyes)

Sale! Sale! Sale!  Today's special is green, polka-dotted animal body (don't worry, we remove head for you). Half or whole, we make good deal for you, special customer!

This was on the back of a sleeve of crackers. The last sentence says, "Do not keep near flour and pulses". Uh, aren't these for human consumption? I'm pretty sure that most people who are going to buy them are going to eat them. And, unless under some miraculous circumstance, they all will have pulses. And, before they eat them, they may store them near the flour. Crackers of Death.

Although it's hard to read, the street sign says, America Avenue. Our reputation is, unfortunately, infamous.

All my digestive dreams have finally come true!  From now on, any bloatedness or gurgling tummy sounds can be solved with a strawberry creme, yoghurt-filled cookie. If I forget which ones they are, I just have to read the cookie for a reminder.   They indiscreetly say, DIGESTIVE.  These would be great for a dinner party!  I'd like to see the facial expressions of the party-goers if they were served these after the meal.

Because relaxing and laying at the beach is  "sooo, yesterday".

Why relax when you can do....uh...this?

Art to inspire bad dreams.

These.

Funny man, S, doing a "360" by hotel room # 360. So cute.

Perfectly-sized lettuce when you want to look your best out on a date. It's the Israeli way to make all salad eaters look like barbarians. You get the last laugh, salad-prep people.

Poor B (and server who was equally mortified)! I pulled a total "Mom-moment" when pulled out my camera and made them pose for a picture. On our first night at the hotel in Eilat, a server showed up at the door with a fruit platter and wine. She'll thank me later for forcing her to have a picture with such a cute server!

This is wrong, on every level possible.

Me: Hey, M, do you know that your shoes are untied?

M: (looks down at shoes) Yes.
Me: Oh. Do you want to tie them?
M: Uh, no thanks.
Me: Okay.
This is a daily dialogue between me and 13-year-old M.

 This is from the inside of a hotel magazine....it's because they know. 

Also, an equally acceptable title: You & Your Stupidity.

 It's really true.

This nasty, prehistoric-looking creature is a Mole Cricket.  It's about the size of an average pinky finger.

 I'm pretty sure that's a Hyundai Accent. 

Do not explain inside. Do not explain what?, no one knows. Just don't do it inside.

 In Israel, this is what happens to you when you disobey the signs and do what's FORBIDDEN.

It is forbidden to bring your plumbing from home. Those pipes might make it uncomfortable for other guests.

This goes beyond animal product testing.  You see; small, precious, innocent, and fluffy kittens were used in the making of this chocolate delicacy. You can see on their helpless faces that this was the last picture taken before they were made into chocolate pieces.  Even when translating the name of this fluffy kitten delicacy, the translation doesn't lie. "Katzenzungen" translated from German to English means "Cat Tongues". So, it really IS true. Heartless German Chocolatiers. How could you?