Friday, April 3, 2015

Relativity of Decision

This past week I was invited to hear a man from Africa speak about his life.  His name is Lazare. He was born and raised in such a remote place in Congo that there was, and still is, no electricity (i.e. no technology or reason for it or way to even bring there), no type of plumbing, and no running water.  There were no schools or stores or any medical facilities. His life and the life of his tribe were surrounded by war and felt the immediate affects of it.  He lived among children who had to raise themselves, due to being orphaned by the war.  It was a dark, grim, and fearful place and way to live. Even to travel there, one would have to take a helicopter or travel for many, many days by vehicle.

As he shared that information, I began to think about how that way of life would affect him on a daily basis.  His reality is so different than mine.  He didn't select to be born there, but he was and it is his life.  He didn't get to choose it.  He was only able to respond to it.  And, even though he didn't choose all those above factors, He did have one area of choice: he was able to make decisions for his life (within his culture and tribe). Despite all of my and Lazare's vast contrasts, as it relates to the relativity of decision making, I began to realize that we weren't so different.
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No matter who we are or where we are from, our lives are formed by a constant process of decision making.  Daily we choose.  We make physical decisions: should I exercise today?  We make emotional decisions: am I going to stay mad at that person...they really DO deserve it?  We make mental/psychological decisions: is reading this literature going to affect my outlook on life in a negative way?  We make spiritual decisions: is there a God and who is He, do I need to find out? Then, of course, there are the decisions that are completely out of our control.  Those also have a big test on us, as we have a responsibility to respond (a decision) in a way that represents us, challenges our character and integrity, and will influence for positive decisions in the future. 
Moreover, everything we do is a decision.  Even if our day is going seemingly "normal", that normality still involves decisions.  Some of those decisions will only affect us in the moment. For instance, choosing ice tea over lemonade at lunch is most likely not going to change the course of your life (unless there's something you know about lemonade that I don't.  If so, please share.). If I flashback to when I was a small child, when having to decide if I wanted to have a Nerds Blizzard or Cherry-Dipped Cone from Dairy Queen seemed like the biggest decision of my life (which it wasn't), it still was MY decision and I got to choose it.

Even a decision of HOW we think affects us.  Our minds are constantly working.  We are inundated with a barrage of information that requires us to filter what we deem as important or not important.  We can react instantly or spontaneously to new information or we can mull it over and over (and over) until we reach a reasonable or peace-filled decision.  But because decisions are relative to individual situations and moments in time, respectively, our reaction may be ever-changing.
As difficult as it is, one of the many hard moments comes when we have to decide how to respond when another's decision affects our life. They're not the type that we would necessarily pick for ourselves; great, deceitful, loyal, bad, honest, disrespectful or ugly ones. Because we have a feeling of ownership for our own life and our own decisions, when we are caught in the web of another's' choice, good or bad, the outcome can seem as if it's in violation of our life ownership. I have injured people by judgments I've made and words I've said.  I cannot take those back, I can only ask for forgiveness and reconcile what I've done.  Certain moments like that happen.  But therein lies another decision...what actions can/should/will I take next time? 
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Lazare paused after he shared about how war has ravaged his country.  He didn't talk about it for very long, only a few moments. He leaned forward, capturing the attention of all those in attendance.  He then shared a decision he had made.  He had decided at some point to stop talking of the details of the wars, as they were ugly and promoted that ugly.  He humbly and genuinely said that he wanted to focus on rebuilding community and care for people.  He spoke of purpose and value of all people.  His vision was to bring education into the remote areaHe had vision and faith.  He didn't have workers or money or supplies, or EVEN ways to get supplies.  There was no electricity.  There were no building materials.  There was nothing.  But he still had a vision and he spoke about it and told the people of his tribe and surrounding area what his vision was.

He said, "I am because we are".
 
This man's vision changed people. Every person that he met, he told them what he was going to do.  I don't even understand it all because I am so far removed from Congo, but I do understand having to make a choice in the most impossible circumstance.  As Lazare continued, all those in attendance marveled as he described how the miracle of his vision unfolded.  He would invite all people he came in contact with to come and see what his vision was, and, they came.  People donated time, love, work, service, support, friendship, supplies, and community.  And while there is still no electricity, there is a school and a THRIVING university there.  As he describes, in the middle of no where, it is still a place of beauty and re-built hope.

I couldn't help but be in awe as I listened to this man speak of a true miracle that all started by making a decision. He made a decision to promote people and not the destruction.  He had faith, he prayed, and his decision of faith affected (is still affecting) all who he comes in contact with.  His vision isn't for himself, but for future generations to have an opportunity to not repeat the ugliness of the past and to pave a way for the bright hope for tomorrow. 

As most inspirational moments do, this one was caused me to analyze all my present decisions.  Just like Lazare, I cannot change my past.  It is gone, it already happened.  I cannot change it.  But, what I can do is think about my present life and choices.  Whatever I am choosing for my life, whether it is conscious or not, is affecting my life and future generations.  Nothing about my life will magically change if I keep doing the same things I'm doing right now.  I am guilty of taking time to analyze decisions that are healthy for me and others that I eventually "put on the back burner" to re-evaluate at a later time. Soooo, basically I just allow those decisions to stay on the back burner and I live in a state of neutrality. I know that sometimes that is necessary, but it's a hindrance to my future when I stay there indefinitely.

I can't help but think that sometimes I stay in a state of "living on the back burner" as I wait for what is next.  Instead of making a decision that is filled with vision, I decide to wait (I'm not talking about waiting when it's healthy or the right decision).  But, again nothing about my life will magically change if I keep doing the same thing I'm doing and expect a different result.  I am really saying all this for myself, but in the big picture of life, making vision-filled decisions really relates to all of us (because we're all in this together). 

So, what to do? Because decision making does shape my life, success, faith, strength, and hope, those things will only come when I value my life and the lives of others (not when I base my decisions on what anyone else is doing).  It takes a gulp of humility to analyze the place of neutrality.  And, it takes an even bigger gulp of bravery to step away from the decision (or indecision) that been holding me/you there.  I can't help but think that we all have a little bit of Lazare in us, we all have vision.  We all have value.  We all have gifts within our person that can affect change. It just takes us making a decision to do so. 

So, as I challenge myself, I also offer the challenge to you: as it is relative to your own personal life, are the decisions you're making promoting vision?  Or are they on the back burner?  Why not today be the day to make a decision to step away from that hindrance or neutrality?  Why not today be the day to make a choice to add value for your life by inspiring vision, within you and toward others.  Each of us is unique. We all have something to give.  And no one can make the decision except you.
The Primary School in Eastern Congo.  It opened in Sept. 2014.
Photo credit belongs to http://www.ueemi.org