I sip my latte and mindlessly look out my kitchen window, waiting for the airline "baggage restrictions" page to load. My home is in a beautiful, country/forest setting but because of that, it doesn't make good for prompt Internet connection. Think back to the ancient days of dial-up, folks...yup, that's what it's like. So, finally the page loads and I scroll down to read about the baggage restrictions from the states to Israel. Scroll, scroll, scroll....hmmm, there are so many rules for checked baggage now. Eventually I get to the part that I've been looking for. That is, of course, after I read about over-sized luggage, special baggage, excess baggage, travelling with a child, stroller restrictions, child car seat restriction, and what to do when travelling with sports equipment. Okay, there it is: I get one bag that weighs 23 kg. First of all, WHAT? One? And, secondly how much is 23 kg? It must be about 150 lbs., since I only get one. I'm sure it must be. But no, all my illusions are dashed when I discover that 23 kg is about 50 lbs. Sara, do not panic. It is totally feasible. I can manage to pack my whole life into 50 lbs. Easy. All I have to take is pants, shorts, tops, dresses, skirts, sweaters, pj's, formal wear (you can never be too prepared), fashion scarves, head scarves, jewelry (must accessorize), about 10 purses (more accessorizing), all the shoes that might be necessary for any type excursion or outfit, all the curriculum and teaching supplies I need for schooling, all my daily toiletries, jackets, sunscreen, that totally cute straw summer hat, and my plethora of technology which probably weighs about 45 lbs. by itself. No problem, if necessary I can just leave a purse behind.
As I stated in the title "A True (but slightly exaggerated) Story", some of the above is a teeny, tiny bit over-the-top. The sweaters might be a little much for Israel, don't ya think? But, in all truthfulness most of what I wrote is correct, I do have a lot to bring from my "here home" to my new "there home". What I should pack has really caused me to think. What do I need? What do I REALLY need, not want, need? I have been trying to look at my life and think about that. I would really like to bring my nephew with me, but for many reasons, mostly obvious ones, that is not an option. I will miss him. I will have to leave him behind, along with all the other people I wish I could pack in my suitcase. In considering what to take, there are many things I want to pack to bring along. I can quickly think back to all the other times I've packed for a trip where I brought what I thought was important. The average percentile of my over-packing is about 90%. As I pondered on my 10% success rate in mad packing skills, I began to think of people who made an impact on the world who seemingly travelled with nothing. Bear with me on this rabbit trail....I began to think about Mother Teresa. Her heart was so burdened for the poor and destitute, that she wanted to live with them. She received basic training to do medical work, and soon started tending to the needs of the destitute and starving. She had no income and had to resort to begging for food and supplies. She experienced doubt and loneliness. Here is what she wrote in her diary:
Today I learned a good lesson. The poverty of the poor must be so hard for them. While looking for a home I walked til my arms and legs ached. I thought about how much they must ache in body and soul, looking for a home, food and health.
In 1950, when she started the Missionaries of Charity, this was the mission statement: to care for the hungry, the naked, the homeless, the crippled, the blind, the lepers, all those people who feel unwanted, unloved, uncared for throughout society, people that have become a burden to the society and are shunned by everyone.
She went on to do other great things that inspired the whole world. Thinking about her life was sobering to me. Here is this woman, commissioned by "her heart, belonging entirely to the Heart of Jesus, undeterred by criticism, accepted it (criticism) with a smile and did the work" (Mother Teresa's words, 1980). She owned nothing but a heart to care for those in need. She pressed on even when she had to beg for the most simplest of needs. I find to be without words, it is humbling. And, here I am trying to decided what shoes to pack.
In no way am I trying to liken myself to Mother Teresa. It just made me think. She was so impassioned by her hearts' call. Whether I'm packing to move my life to another country or I'm just heading to Haggen, a moment of destiny may be awaiting for me there. Considering that people are the most important gift that we have to enjoy (help, clothe, give a cup of coffee to, listen to, cry with, laugh with), I ponder about the moments that have passed me by. I (we) can get so busy that I (we) can forget that the moment happening right now, will never happen again. If we thought that way, how much would we do differently? We all have something to offer. Mother Teresa started with nothing but a heart that belonged entirely to the Heart of Jesus and she impacted the whole world.
All of this insightful thinking doesn't change the reality of the fact that I have to pack to leave my "here home'. But, I have to say that I have been thinking differently. Whether or not I bring that totally cute straw summer hat and the formal wear, I choose to live in the moment, appreciate the gift of people and treat each moment like it is my last. Who knows? It might be.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Monday, March 10, 2014
enjoy this moment, for this moment is your life
I have never thought of starting a blog before. Do you know why? Who will read this thing? Me? My mother (hi, mom!)? Yup, in my assumption, that's about it. If you know me, I'm just normal. I'm a human, just like you. I'm just a girl from Washington. I've experienced highs and lows, good and bad moments, the best and worst food ever, had an "aha!" moment or two , been excited over a super-clearance deal on something awesome....see, just a human, normal...
But, in that normality, do you ever feel like this: "Okay, today was alright (good, horrible, spectacular, detestable, the worst ever), but I can't wait for tomorrow." Admit it, you've been there. I have. I'm ashamed to say how many times I've thought that. Now, I say "ashamed" because I can't really think of a better word...I don't actually sit around and shame myself for being excited for tomorrow. Being excited for a new day is a great thing. But what if that causes us (me) to miss the moments that are before us? For instance, it is literally dumping rain outside my window right now. Dumping. I walked down the stairs of my place and opened the front door and my welcome mat is under water, as is the cement walkway. In fact there is so much standing water with no where to go, it is beginning to look like a lake. Water is pouring out of my clogged gutters, like my own personal, beautiful waterfall. Yes, exiting my front door today will be an adventure. I am not exaggerating. This is a true story. It's a wet, muddy, pine needly, dirty day. If you're from Washington, I know you can feel my pain. If you're not from Washington, it's true, it rains here a lot. ANYHOW, my point being is this, I could hope for all the things that aren't happening today to happen tomorrow. In this case, sunny skies and no puddles. This is a customary way to think, "hopefully it will be better tomorrow!". Right?
But, what if we think about the moment we are living in right now? What if we enjoyed this moment simply because it's our life and, after the moment passes we can never get that moment back?
So, to jump back to the beginning paragraph, I have a reason for starting a blog. (#1 for my mom to read, but you already know that). I have been given an opportunity for this moment in my life. At the perfect moment, I was offered an experience and adventure that I could not pass up. I am moving to Israel. I am leaving in less than three weeks. Here's what happened....
I have been working with children for many years. I love kids and believe in them. Being able to work with them is a true gift and, I believe, has big responsibility. I had a brief "intermission" from working with children, but do you know what happened to me? I missed them, all of them. Do you know why? I do. I am passionate about them and I have a heart for them. I am very thankful for that intermission and the adventure it took me on, but denying one's true desire is not healthy. Here's a little nutshell of "intermission" of late: I was offered a job at a place that seemed promising and awesome. At the beginning, I was excited and inspired. I signed a contract and began. But, very quickly, I found that it was NOT a place for me. I will spare you of the details, but I can tell you that my heart was not at peace as I came and went from that workplace. So, I prayed about what to do (yup, I'm one of those. the praying-type). I knew what I had to do and had confirmation through those prayers. I had to quit. Now "quitting" is not in my vocabulary. I have never quit a job, especially one where I signed a contract with real ramifications if I did. So, as I set up the meeting with my boss, I had to walk by faith. With that faith I walked into the office on that Monday morning (of course, sweating through both layers I was wearing. I was wearing black, which I had planned, knowing my armpits as well as I do). I spoke honestly and truthfully. Guess what? I only had to pay $5,000.00 and write "I am a quitter!" on the office whiteboard 100 times to get out of the contract. Okay, not really.....here's what really happened: my boss just let me go. That's it, we shook hands and I just walked out the door. I was so thankful and relieved and KNEW I had done the right thing. You know, the right thing can't be defined by the label that may come along with it, i.e. "quitter", when you know it's the right thing.
In less than a week from that Monday morning, I received an email from a family I had known from one of my previous life experiences (jobs). It was an invitation to be a part of their children's schooling, tutoring and teaching. I knew in my heart that I was supposed to do it, and I was filled with excitement. Now, just like earlier, more praying ensued, because excitement is one thing but deciding what's best for a life decision has to be made with more than just feelings...So, without a doubt in my heart, my answer was yes. I was at peace about the decision to go.
Do you know what happens then after the decision has been made? You think about all the people you care about, all the people you'll miss and why AND what you'll miss. So, for all of you out there, this is for you. I can't possibly tell all of you all that I'll miss you dearly and how you've brought joy to my life, but you have. Every moment that I've enjoyed has included you (whoever you are reading this). So often we don't say the things we really mean to say, but why, why don't we do that? People are the most important and how will they know if we don't say it or tell them? So what better time to start than right now...please take this moment to enjoy a hug via this blog. Albeit cheesy, it is genuine. If I could take you along, I would. But because I can't, I hope you'll join me as I enjoy this moment, for it truly is my life.
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