Tost in Lranslation and Other Novelties, Part Two

What exactly is happening here? 

Is this poster posing a question that people should take seriously? 

Well, whatever my "mix" may or may not be, it is definitely not that. Definitely. Weird.

Eureka! FINALLY....there they are! I always seem to misplace them....

(These were on the side of the road in a pile).

Nope, not in Kansas anymore.

Hey Family! Check out this brand of tomato sauce!

Accessorizing = Level 10 (the highest level)

Knowing that a person can never over-accessorize, this woman did what any fashionista would do. Logically, she dyed her hair to match her shirt. I don't know why I didn't think of that...

The McDonald's burgers here are called Mega Big America, Classic Big America, Double Junior Big America, and Junior Big America.  Even more specifically, you could order the "Chicago" or "Texas", etc. Mega Big America.  Are they trying to tell American's something?

Totally false advertising. No matter how many nights I leave dirty dishes in my sink, they are always there in the morning.  I have yet to see any Disney-esque fairies doing their job....

The one day of rain since I've been here.

The following series of signs were taken to explain how public (gross) bath houses work.  I especially like the face of the guy getting the massage. Insert your own joke here:

Everyone's favorite activity, wrestling in dirty undies to work up a lather of sweat before bathing....with other people.

Gross, scraping your skin? And, again....bathing with others, who also just scraped their skin.

My favorite part about this sign is that a man is getting pampered.

I will translate this sign for you (my Hebrew is actually getting quite good!):

Missing Cat!

He goes by the name "Fancy". 

Distinguishing marks:  

Fancy has a broken hind leg that is in an enormous, blue cast.  He also had a human hand skin graft on his stomach.  Finally, you'll be able to recognize him by a forearm, hand, and elbow fatty tumor that is growing out of his back. He likes white cheese.

Hopefully, those distinguishing marks will help!

Please call Moshe with any leads to Fancy's whereabouts.

A crosswalk for classy dressers.

A nasty, dead centipede that was found in the backyard. 

The light and fresh scent of SpongeBob SquarePants Perfume.

It's an acid-washed, denim romper, folks.  It's all one piece. Let me know if you want one....

Ya know those claw machines?  The ones where you put in your money in hopes to work that claw so you can get that one awesome item in the case?? Well, I did a double-take when I walked by this one.  If you're really good, you can grab some one dollar bills!  This was in an Israeli mall.

What is this toilet paper made from? Puppies?

It always makes me laugh.

Puppies Toilet Paper.

A public latrine. Those stones are where they'd sit to do their "business".  I wonder if any conversation went on here...."Hey, Mordechai! How are your wife and children?"

Just out for a leisurely stroll with his assault rifle.

In my attempt to look like some sort of a hard core enthusiast, I made the above expression.   Due to the fact that the white slope behind me is for SKIING and SNOWBOARDING, my attempt was (only slightly) not in vain. You can see by the weather that it looks hot (it was) and that there is no snow falling from the sky (there wasn't).  The slope is painted, white AstroTurf. It simulates snow(ish) conditions by blasting a mist of water out over the surface.

Also, skied Bieber there.

Look at the size of that (art??) shopping cart!  You can compare its size by the car parked next to it!  A real "super"market.

As promised in my last post, this classic shot gets its own place in the line-up (at the Dead Sea).

You're welcome.

1300 pictures and counting...

I have been in Israel for six weeks.  In those six weeks, I have taken over 1300 pictures.  Some might say that is a lot of pictures and some might say that I'm crazy for not taking more.  Either way, I really want to post them all.  Each one was taken for a reason and has a thought or story behind it.  But, if I really posted them all, who would read about each one and look at ALL those pictures?  I don't even think I would....

Here are a few.  If you want to see more, feel free to email me.  I still have 1278 more I can share.

At the Under The (Western) Wall Tour. Much of Israel's great history is underground!

A night of great memories during Passover Dinner with new family and friends.

(Intently) learning how to spin yarn in Nazareth Village.

The Israeli State bird: the Hoopoe, pronounced "hu-pu".

 Jewish Cemetery that holds over 150,000 graves, below is the Kidron Valley and the distant view is Jerusalem. This picture is taken from the Mount of Olives.

Caesarea National Park 

Personal bubble...what personal bubble?  The Israeli way is to pack 'em in. And when no more can fit, or breathe for that matter, it's time to squeeze in three more.  This is in the Cable Car up to Masada National Park.  Thank goodness for the air vents to let in the hot, stuffy air and to let out the rank smell of fresh B.O.

Stairway down to the cistern at Masada National Park. The second photo is from inside of the cistern.

A view of the Dead Sea from Masada N.P. Notice the salt beds at the water's edge.

Masada N.P.

David Falls at Ein Gedi Reserve and National Park. Ein Gedi is called "the Oasis in Israel".  It is right next to the Dead Sed.

Floating (not swimming) the Dead Sea. If you have any scratches or ouchies, entering into the Dead Sea in like inflicting torture onto yourself.  Also, don't shave before you go (SOMEONE probably learned this lesson the hard way) or get the "water (salty-liquid torture)" in your eyes or mouth in fear of instant mummification. There are big tubs of natural/mineral mud that you can place on your skin to have a full body "mud mask".  My skin felt amazing afterward! Also, there were lots of Speedo's there. Those pictures get their own post...

Geological investigation of this "tiny" Corinthian pillar at Beit She'an National Park.

View of Tel-Aviv from Jaffa. The sand there is fine and soft, like cornstarch! The second is of a picturesque road in Jaffa.



The guys took me on a date to Jaffa! They were perfect gentlemen and showed me all the cools spots, like the bat house, the cannons, how to order a "pizza bagel" and a hanging orange tree!