Tost in Lranslation and Other Novelties, Part Four

Well, why not? 



K. picked out this feather especially for my collection.

For all of you rule followers out there: 

Please take special care when following these very detailed instructions! "Setting".

As opposed to impersonal use??

Camel Crossing

Slacklining at its finest.  I know it might not be believable, but "Slack-Jack" came up with these moves all on his own.  These special feats of balance are not photoshopped.

Israeli humility at its finest.

Dear humans of the male gender,

If you have to be told to not wear either of the above outfits, then someone needs to have a serious talk with you. That's only my opinion, though.  Feel free to wear a spandex romper if you want.  Just not in Jesus' town.

Everyone's favorite animal at the Zoo: The Raccoon.

 Hey, Northwesterners, check out the map on the Raccoon sign. Someone was REALLY misinformed. It shows that there is no raccoon population in the NW.



 Tonight's Face-off:

Real Bird Poo vs. My New Toothpaste
Who will win this battle of the most believable-looking bird dropping?

The only time that "duck face" is acceptable.

P.S.  I pulled a muscle in my neck while bending down to make this face. The muscle took three days to loosen again.  Making duck face is dangerous, folks.  Another reason (in case you needed one) to never make duck face.

"Giraffe Zone"

Irony at its finest: Kosher McDonald's

 Come to this parking lot to die in your car.

 Found myself a man in a can.

 Baby Hedgehog!  Found this cute, little guy rolling down the hill by my apartment.

Murderers. 

No words.

 Mini critters

The one on the right, please.  Always the one on the right.

 I have similar reactions to Ice Cream Cones.

 "Contect" is a simple app that runs on your mobile device and recognizes the changes in speech acoustics that occur with concussions.

This is serious locker-renting.

 I'm almost positive he didn't get any help putting on his sunscreen.

I'd like to thank Larry Daley and Brandon (it's pronounced, "Brundon") from

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian for the use of following quotes: 

 

Brandon: Hey!

Larry Daley: What?

Brandon: What are you doing? No Touching!

Larry Daley: No, no. I wasn't going to touch it.

Brandon: I stand there and I wait all day for a little girl like you to come in and put her precious nail polished nails all over the exhibit.

Larry Daley: Sorry. Last time I checked, I thought we lived in a free country, so...

Brandon: No, we don`t.

Larry Daley: No?

Brandon: It`s the United States of "Don`t Touch That Thing Right in Front of You."

 For the sweet and salty snack lovers.

 Never-ever bad do not no when in England.

 What's YOUR special talent?

Every parent's dream...built-in babysitter with every diaper.

1.  Very generously-sized napkins (thanks). 2.  I ordered that. 3.  I ate it.

Pregnant Barbie. Still fashionable, though...note the sunglasses.

Yes, yes it is.