Tost in Lranslation and Other Novelties, Part Two

What exactly is happening here? 

Is this poster posing a question that people should take seriously? 

Well, whatever my "mix" may or may not be, it is definitely not that. Definitely. Weird.

Eureka! FINALLY....there they are! I always seem to misplace them....

(These were on the side of the road in a pile).

Nope, not in Kansas anymore.

Hey Family! Check out this brand of tomato sauce!

Accessorizing = Level 10 (the highest level)

Knowing that a person can never over-accessorize, this woman did what any fashionista would do. Logically, she dyed her hair to match her shirt. I don't know why I didn't think of that...

The McDonald's burgers here are called Mega Big America, Classic Big America, Double Junior Big America, and Junior Big America.  Even more specifically, you could order the "Chicago" or "Texas", etc. Mega Big America.  Are they trying to tell American's something?

Totally false advertising. No matter how many nights I leave dirty dishes in my sink, they are always there in the morning.  I have yet to see any Disney-esque fairies doing their job....

The one day of rain since I've been here.

The following series of signs were taken to explain how public (gross) bath houses work.  I especially like the face of the guy getting the massage. Insert your own joke here:

Everyone's favorite activity, wrestling in dirty undies to work up a lather of sweat before bathing....with other people.

Gross, scraping your skin? And, again....bathing with others, who also just scraped their skin.

My favorite part about this sign is that a man is getting pampered.

I will translate this sign for you (my Hebrew is actually getting quite good!):

Missing Cat!

He goes by the name "Fancy". 

Distinguishing marks:  

Fancy has a broken hind leg that is in an enormous, blue cast.  He also had a human hand skin graft on his stomach.  Finally, you'll be able to recognize him by a forearm, hand, and elbow fatty tumor that is growing out of his back. He likes white cheese.

Hopefully, those distinguishing marks will help!

Please call Moshe with any leads to Fancy's whereabouts.

A crosswalk for classy dressers.

A nasty, dead centipede that was found in the backyard. 

The light and fresh scent of SpongeBob SquarePants Perfume.

It's an acid-washed, denim romper, folks.  It's all one piece. Let me know if you want one....

Ya know those claw machines?  The ones where you put in your money in hopes to work that claw so you can get that one awesome item in the case?? Well, I did a double-take when I walked by this one.  If you're really good, you can grab some one dollar bills!  This was in an Israeli mall.

What is this toilet paper made from? Puppies?

It always makes me laugh.

Puppies Toilet Paper.

A public latrine. Those stones are where they'd sit to do their "business".  I wonder if any conversation went on here...."Hey, Mordechai! How are your wife and children?"

Just out for a leisurely stroll with his assault rifle.

In my attempt to look like some sort of a hard core enthusiast, I made the above expression.   Due to the fact that the white slope behind me is for SKIING and SNOWBOARDING, my attempt was (only slightly) not in vain. You can see by the weather that it looks hot (it was) and that there is no snow falling from the sky (there wasn't).  The slope is painted, white AstroTurf. It simulates snow(ish) conditions by blasting a mist of water out over the surface.

Also, skied Bieber there.

Look at the size of that (art??) shopping cart!  You can compare its size by the car parked next to it!  A real "super"market.

As promised in my last post, this classic shot gets its own place in the line-up (at the Dead Sea).

You're welcome.

1300 pictures and counting...

I have been in Israel for six weeks.  In those six weeks, I have taken over 1300 pictures.  Some might say that is a lot of pictures and some might say that I'm crazy for not taking more.  Either way, I really want to post them all.  Each one was taken for a reason and has a thought or story behind it.  But, if I really posted them all, who would read about each one and look at ALL those pictures?  I don't even think I would....

Here are a few.  If you want to see more, feel free to email me.  I still have 1278 more I can share.

At the Under The (Western) Wall Tour. Much of Israel's great history is underground!

A night of great memories during Passover Dinner with new family and friends.

(Intently) learning how to spin yarn in Nazareth Village.

The Israeli State bird: the Hoopoe, pronounced "hu-pu".

 Jewish Cemetery that holds over 150,000 graves, below is the Kidron Valley and the distant view is Jerusalem. This picture is taken from the Mount of Olives.

Caesarea National Park 

Personal bubble...what personal bubble?  The Israeli way is to pack 'em in. And when no more can fit, or breathe for that matter, it's time to squeeze in three more.  This is in the Cable Car up to Masada National Park.  Thank goodness for the air vents to let in the hot, stuffy air and to let out the rank smell of fresh B.O.

Stairway down to the cistern at Masada National Park. The second photo is from inside of the cistern.

A view of the Dead Sea from Masada N.P. Notice the salt beds at the water's edge.

Masada N.P.

David Falls at Ein Gedi Reserve and National Park. Ein Gedi is called "the Oasis in Israel".  It is right next to the Dead Sed.

Floating (not swimming) the Dead Sea. If you have any scratches or ouchies, entering into the Dead Sea in like inflicting torture onto yourself.  Also, don't shave before you go (SOMEONE probably learned this lesson the hard way) or get the "water (salty-liquid torture)" in your eyes or mouth in fear of instant mummification. There are big tubs of natural/mineral mud that you can place on your skin to have a full body "mud mask".  My skin felt amazing afterward! Also, there were lots of Speedo's there. Those pictures get their own post...

Geological investigation of this "tiny" Corinthian pillar at Beit She'an National Park.

View of Tel-Aviv from Jaffa. The sand there is fine and soft, like cornstarch! The second is of a picturesque road in Jaffa.



The guys took me on a date to Jaffa! They were perfect gentlemen and showed me all the cools spots, like the bat house, the cannons, how to order a "pizza bagel" and a hanging orange tree!

Mom's Are So Much More

What is a Mom?
 Who is she and what does she do? 

There, of course, is the obvious answer: she is the woman who carried you in her womb and birthed you.  That simply defines it, doesn't it?  But isn't "a Mom" and being a Mom so much more.....We are surrounded by them everyday.  At the store, they have two small ones in the shopping cart and are strategically placing food items around them.  They are at the park; feeding a toddler in a stroller, placing a Band-Aid on their crying five-year-old, yelling at their pre-teen to stop jumping off of the top of the monkey bars, all while thinking about what will be for dinner, which loads of laundry are in the machines, and if they remembered to call the pediatrician about that weird rash. Mom's stay up late with their children who have procrastinated on their World History project and it's due the next day. Mom's send a card or a care package or make a call to their college freshman during finals week.  Mom's beam with pride when their little peanut is all grown up; starting a family of their own, getting that promotion, moving into their first apartment, or when that little peanut makes a decision that no one taught them to make, but is full of wisdom and maturity. They cry with us when life goes unexpectedly, they reprimand us with love, they discipline when it's needed (saying, "this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you". And, it true.), and they put up with all of us during the age span of 12-19.  That last one, in itself, deserves more credit than I could even think to write about.

The idea of "Mom" is much further reaching than the person that birthed you.  Mom's are people of influence that make an impact, in tiny and large ways.  Throughout all of our lives there are Mom-type figures that help shape and mold us.  And at some point, women all become Mom's or Mom-types.  For short or long periods of time they can enter into our lives. They influence, speak kindly, invite out to lunch or over for dinner, listen to work drama, calm young Mother's fears and insecurities, and console when one miscarries or loses a child.  All rolled into one, Mom's or Mom-types are (but not limited to the following.  Lord knows I cannot name them all....) consultants, lawyers, receptionists, doctors, surgeons, personal assistant's, business owners, servers, nurses, travel agents and culinary miracle workers.

To all you Mom's and Mom-types out there who have impacted my life and other 's lives, I want to say thank you. There is a strength that happens to a woman as she is becoming a Mom or a Mom-type figure. That strength takes growing, stretching, and a beautifying process that produces patience and the ability to look at the world in a different way.  Mom's and Mom-types affect the world with that gift.

And especially to you: Mom's who never got to hold their children, who's children are no longer in your arms or have gone missing.  I remember you and I remember them.  You are brave.

To end, I want to honor my own Mom and Sister (who is newly a Mom!).  You wow me all the time and I am so proud of you.  I wish I told you more, but I love you dearly and I am thankful to be your daughter, sister, and friend.

Happy Mom's and Mom-types Day!

If you don't see your picture, it's not because I didn't choose to put it. It's probably just because I don't have one of you on my computer!  Just imagine your picture here, because that's what I am doing! All of you Mom-types are always in my thoughts!

Have never been more proud of my sister than in this moment!

My awesome Grandma, Aunt, Mom and cousins. Love to all.

My best Mom ever!

my very own unexpected love story

I will try to leave out all of the really mushy stuff for you anti-romantics (or "closet romantics" as I like to call you people. It's okay, you can come out, it's safe here...wanna hug and have a serenaded, candle-lit dinner??). When it comes to telling a real-life love story, there are really two types of responses that people have. The first group of people want to know all of the details and to live the story of fluffy bunny's, love poems and sparkly-eye-meeting-moments with the person and their new “how I met the love of my life on cloud 9!” affair. There might even be buttery popcorn and chocolate ice cream during the tale of loooove. Then, there's the other type. You know who you are, you can't be bothered with all the details. You just want to know the facts. No fluffy bunny's, no buttery popcorn and, please, retrain from using sparkly or poem at any time. And, if possible, DO NOT say love during your one-sentence description of you new “life experience”.  To be politically correct in Cupid's world, I know there are other types of responses, but for dramatic and story-telling purposes, please don't be offended by my two choice responses. Remember, I already named all the rest of you in the first sentence, you closet romantics, you.

So, back to the details (fluffy bunny person, pay attention) and facts (anti-fluffy bunny person, uh, you'll probably just wanna stop reading). With all of the other amazing experiences I am having here in Israel, I have found myself with a new and unexpected surprise, love.   Now, before you start thinking about how long I've been here and if I should be really using such a powerful word in such a short period of time, just please let me explain myself. I assure you that I have thought this through and know what I am doing. Please don't try to talk me out of it or give me any advice, no raining on my cloud. This may come to a surprise to some of you, but somehow, it has happened that I am falling for four people at one time. Four wonderful humans. Three guys and one girl. I adoringly call them my students.

 

Okay, okay, I know that it's not what you were expecting.  But it is the truth.  Please understand my parallel to a “love story”, I assure you, it's all proper.

 

As stated in my very first blog entry, I have worked with children for a good portion of my life. I believe in them and desire to see them succeed and to know of their unique and individual importance. I really want every person to know that, but especially young people. Youth, in general, are looking for truth and importance. Even if they can't put it into words, they want to know how to succeed and want to be told that they are unique. I do not take lightly the opportunity of responsibility that I have been gifted while I am here in Israel.

 

So, when a person (namely me) feels that way about young ones, it's hard to NOT adore the moments that have been given to them. Everyday I am amazed at how I can care so deeply for children that are not my own. (FACTUAL ROMANTICS, IF YOU HAVE – FOR SOME REASON – CONTINUED READING, YOU MAY WANT TO RUN FOR COVER NOW. I WARN YOU, I'M ABOUT TO BE VERY TRANSPARENT). I expressed my care for the children to their Mother. I explained to her that if I were in her shoes, I would be homeschooling my own children.  Also, I told her that since I don't have any living children of my own (I have a furry, feline child back home, but she doesn't count), I will pour all that I have to give into someone else's living, children treasures. When I told her all of this, her response was genuine and heartfelt. She said, “Love them like they are your own. They are your children. You are free to love them”.  If you could've been in my shoes at that moment, you would understand how her honesty and words of blessing pierced my heart with gratitude. I would've taught them with respect and care regardless of those words, but to hear someone say something like that is very powerful. It is inspiring and fills a person with a sense of freedom: freedom to teach without borders, freedom to love with understanding, freedom to discipline with honesty and freedom to be me (I really don't need anyone's permission to be me....you know what I mean, it gives a sense of peaceful freedom).

As I watch the kids grow in their appreciation for learning and say things like, “That was fun. I like to write (please note, that in itself IS a miracle)”, my heart swells with joy to see their feeling of success.  I'm sure there are fluffy bunny's in there somewhere, too, as well as sparkly-eye-moments. The sparkly-eye-moments are not from looking deeply and passionately into another's eyes, though. Those moments are from my eyes glistening with tears as I respect and love those four young students and they respect and love me right back.

And, friends, if that's not a real-life love story, then I don't know what is.

 

The above are from the Valley of Elah and the Brook Elah.  We climbed up Tel Socoh to get a better vantage of the valley. This valley the site of a famous Biblical battle.  Notice the kids are holding FIVE stones from the Brook.....Any guesses on the battle? It's in 1 Samuel 17.

Me and B at Caesarea National Park. Look at that amazing water!

The three men and my eye

The Bell Caves at Bet Govrin-Maresha National Park